A friend recently encouraged readers of her blog to summarize who they are right now, and it seemed appropriate to post it here also. (Caveat: past performance is not a guarantee of future returns).
I grew up loving nature, loving learning, and feeling some sense of larger glory in the Universe. This led me into physics, but the farther along I got in that field, the more I sensed that the whole point of hard science is to
remove the human from the Universe. Physics does not include the whole universe because it leaves out one point-- the origin. The heart. There was no room for me in physics, so I began to look elsewhere.
I make my living as an emerging technology analyst and consultant, but consider other dimensions of me more significant right now. The best part of the job is lots of foreign travel, mainly to Asia, where I have gained breadth and come to rest with the huge variety of perspectives in the world. Learned some Japanese, too.
As a scientist from an atheistic upbringing, I had internalized some disdain for all things spiritual, and the current climate of religious ideological terrorism from both abroad (Islam) and here at home (Christian) hardly helped. But I am slowly learning to differentiate among spiritual practices and paths.
I have taken up a vipassana Buddhist practice that includes sitting meditation and involvement with the local community of practitioners. I am taking a class where we read parts of the Pali Canon, I attend multi-day silent meditation retreats, and I am doing personal study with a teacher.
An astute friend pointed out that I have always been spiritual. For 25 years, I was a serious athlete, reveling in my healthy body and its ability to feel calmest and purest in moments of extreme physical exertion. I was a spiritual athlete. That ended abruptly with some major health challenges a few years ago that shook me pretty fundamentally. But perhaps I had to give up the religion of athleticism to see that those deeper states do not come from my body, they come from my mind. I still enjoy the mild exercise I can do, but now know the danger of identifying with it as "me."
I have been surprised to learn recently that I am really not that ambitious in the sense of wanting to achieve things in the world, above some minimum level of providing for myself. I would like to direct my energies toward helping this world, and staying connected to friends/family. I have no idea what the future will bring. Later this month, I am going to become a volunteer at a local Children's Hospital.