Bodily emotions
There is a difference between an emotion in the mind and in the body, and getting the two confused can lead to trouble.
OK, what the heck does that mean?
I'm talking about fear in particular. You know what fear feels like in your body-- pounding heart, flipping stomach, maybe sweating, maybe chills, maybe a variety of other things (I get distortions in my hearing and vision, for instance). But all of these effects come from the rush of chemicals triggered by an instantaneous burst of fear in the mind. Then they take a little while to clear out of your system, even if you're no longer scared.
That's why you feel a little shaky for a few minutes after nearly being squashed by a semi while out on your bike.
But suppose you don't realize that the trigger for fear is long gone, and you mistakenly think that all the physical signs, which simply haven't had time to decay yet, are evidence that you are still being frightened. You may act inappropriately.
[The same can be said for anger, by the way, if that's a more powerful emotion for you.]
I was reminded of this in a small way recently when I wanted to ask a question after a seminar talk. The speaker was Japanese and apologized for his poor English at the beginning of his presentation. (This is typical Japanese modesty, although it is true that he struggled a bit with the language). Anyway, at the end, I wanted to ask a question, but it also occurred to me to speak a sentence to him in Japanese. I'm a little shy about speaking Japanese in public, and got an instant fear reaction. But instead of continuing to feel it and give it credence, I mentally moved past it to a point when the stimulus was no longer there. That way, I was able to separate the physical and mental components of the fear, and just let the physical ones fade on their own without confusing them with further fear.
I said the sentence just fine. I told him his English was far better than my Japanese. And he smiled and thanked me.
OK, what the heck does that mean?
I'm talking about fear in particular. You know what fear feels like in your body-- pounding heart, flipping stomach, maybe sweating, maybe chills, maybe a variety of other things (I get distortions in my hearing and vision, for instance). But all of these effects come from the rush of chemicals triggered by an instantaneous burst of fear in the mind. Then they take a little while to clear out of your system, even if you're no longer scared.
That's why you feel a little shaky for a few minutes after nearly being squashed by a semi while out on your bike.
But suppose you don't realize that the trigger for fear is long gone, and you mistakenly think that all the physical signs, which simply haven't had time to decay yet, are evidence that you are still being frightened. You may act inappropriately.
[The same can be said for anger, by the way, if that's a more powerful emotion for you.]
I was reminded of this in a small way recently when I wanted to ask a question after a seminar talk. The speaker was Japanese and apologized for his poor English at the beginning of his presentation. (This is typical Japanese modesty, although it is true that he struggled a bit with the language). Anyway, at the end, I wanted to ask a question, but it also occurred to me to speak a sentence to him in Japanese. I'm a little shy about speaking Japanese in public, and got an instant fear reaction. But instead of continuing to feel it and give it credence, I mentally moved past it to a point when the stimulus was no longer there. That way, I was able to separate the physical and mental components of the fear, and just let the physical ones fade on their own without confusing them with further fear.
I said the sentence just fine. I told him his English was far better than my Japanese. And he smiled and thanked me.
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