This hilarious tome covers the evolutionary biology of sex-- something we all find secretly fascinating. But here's the twist. Olivia Judson has written the book as a sex advice column. "Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation" teaches an amazing amount of un-watered-down biology in a fun format. It gets a "strong +" for successfully combining creativity, scientific accuracy, and social relevance (more on that below).
The letters of distressed creatures serve as jumping-off points for Judson's lessons on sexual diversity in nature. For instance, Spooked in Gabon is concerned that her golden potto boyfriend has enormous spines on his penis, launching Dr. Tatiana into an erudite discussion of penile acoutrements ("many of them look like medieval torture instruments"). Bring Back the Ladies in Norfolk is a male moorhen who feels threatened by the aggressive behavior of the females of his species. Dr. Tatiana sympathizes briefly, but tells him to shape up because aggressive females are in fact the norm across wide swaths of the animal world, and indeed his small size may be an advantage among moorhens.
The insects and such are amazingly exotic. We hear from ticks that routinely mate with their brothers and sisters, spiders that get decapitated after sex, mantises that get decapitated before sex, and the many bizarre practices of bees and flies. There is even some protozoan reproduction thrown in for spice.
It is impossible to read this book and not realize the stunning variation in sexual practice across the creatures of Earth. There are gay rams, monogomaous birds, and many polygynous and polyandrous creatures. Some mollusks have their penises in their mouths. Some animals must mate hundreds of times in order to conceive. Some males have evolved tricks to foil other males, such as plugging the female's vagina after sex, while females have evolved tricks to counteract the males. Almost any weird practice you can dream up is done somewhere on Earth, and some practices are too weird even to dream up.
Here's where the social relevance comes in. I don't think it's even possible to understand sexual biology and still believe that sex is somehow wrapped in issues of universal morality. The diversity of adaptations strips the legitimacy from any concepts of overarching morality. Guess what? Homosexuality is common in nature, and even serves a useful purpose in many cases. Guess what else? True monogamy is almost unheard-of, and is actually a bad idea in most situations. Nature really doesn't care if you feel uncomfortable about doggy-style or tortured about when it's OK to get to second base. Sex is sex, OK? Everyone does it (well, almost everyone), and they do it in a way that was evolutionarily adapted to their species. No more, no less.
Dr. Tatiana has provided the creatures of Earth with a valuable resource. No longer will mangrove fish have to wonder why they are hermaphroditic, nor will sagebrush crickets feel concerned that they have teeth on their back. I'm sure many a panicked lover has been reassured by the good doctor's calm, informative advice. Read this book to appreciate (or envy?) the variety of sexual practices among us, and who knows, maybe one of your deepest, most embarrassing questions will be answered.
Copyright © Kim Allen 2002
