This is a down-to-earth book about relations across "the color line," that invisible but very real barrier that separates blacks and whites in America. We have different experiences, different styles, and different impressions of the same events. We sometimes talk about wanting better relations or closer connections or improved understanding of each other, but feel inhibited about how to go about that.
Or at least whites do. Blacks have far more contact with whites than vice versa. Thus, they know more about whites than vice versa. Jim Myers is a white man with a black wife. He successfully straddles the color line, and many of his friends began suggesting that he write a book about the different worlds of blacks and whites. "Afraid of the Dark" is the result.
It's a good book. It is clear that Myers knows far more than most whites about the black world, making him an able interpreter and guide. The book discusses both blacks' views of whites and whites' views of blacks, but it seems to be mainly aimed at a white audience. After all, we need more education in these matters. I'll give the book a "weak +"-- it's worth breezing through. You will probably learn something.
"Afraid of the Dark" is totally straightforward. Myers tells it how it is, with no heavy analysis, just a strong dose of common sense and a little gentle humor to keep it light. He explains the basic white fear: that they will say something "wrong" to a black person, and "all hell will break loose." The black person will become angry or violent, and rationality will be lost. The white person has no idea what might set off this reaction, and so must always be very cautious.
Even if a white reader doesn't explicitly harbor such blatant feelings, it is easy to sense a kernel of truth here.
Then there is the black view: whites are cold, obsessed with rules, and totally inhibited. They cannot be trusted, because they will always betray a black person when push comes to shove. Some are looking for ways to keep blacks down, and even those who aren't so directly malevolent are just generally clueless about anything outside their insular world. They forever need blacks to "explain" themselves, and blacks are weary of doing that.
Again, the kernel of truth is undeniable.
Myers runs through some interesting numbers, like statistics on how many blacks say they have a white friend, versus how many whites say they have a black friend. Given that whites outnumber blacks 7:1, it doesn't take advanced math to figure out that someone is stretching the truth, or else all black people have many white friends. There just aren't enough blacks to go around. Furthermore, Myers notes wryly that despite white complaints of "black isolation," it is in fact whites who are the most segregated group in America. Some live the better part of their lives having no contact with blacks-- not many blacks have that "luxury."
I even learned a few things. I had no idea that some black women are annoyed about how white women flip their hair-- as if the white women are flaunting the straightness and smoothness of their hair. (You'd think I would know this-- I had a black roommate for two years!). Nor did I realize that some blacks are repulsed by the cave-dwelling habits of primitive whites (surely it is evidence of our savagery). These things may seem small, but as we all know, the devil is in the details in racial matters. Little snags can seem very big indeed.
So overall, this book contains some gems. Probably everyone reading it will realize that they have fallen into a mental trap at one time or another, or will learn something from across the color line that they were totally unaware of before. "Afraid of the Dark" is excellent educational material, especially for us clueless whites.
But that very fact depressed me to some degree. The things Myers discusses are really basic in some cases. It was humbling and shameful to realize what a remedial level we are at in terms of black-white relations. We have taken many positive steps, particularly in the past 40 years, but what we don't understand is still vastly greater.
Myers is more upbeat, which I suppose is heartening since he is closer to the color line than almost all whites. He ended the book with some practical suggestions for improving race relations. They are not earth-shattering; they are simple things like approaching an encounter with a good attitude, being willing to give a little in order to get a little, and adhering to The Golden Rule. Myers is realistic, noting that blacks will be a substantial minority in America for the foreseeable future, so they shouldn't expect things to improve rapidly. (There is an almost inexhaustible supply of clueless white people). But even in the face of this fact, he thinks we can do better by following a few simple guidelines.
I would like to believe him. But I still came away from the book chagrined that such a simple primer on black-white relations could get such loud kudos and high praise (from the white press, that is, who still thinks black-white relations are a novel thing. Blacks, of course, have such encounters all the time). "Afraid of the Dark" is worth checking out. I look forward to the day when it seems simplistic.
Copyright © Kim Allen 2002
